Date: Tue. 15 Aug. 2006

to make the long story short, I really like your poems - especially the last one about the crabs. I laughed so hard that I almost peed in my underwear [not in my pants because I am wearing a skirt today]. Anyway, good job!

Take care,

And keep them coming! [and by 'them', I mean poems]



Date: Fri. 11 Aug. 2006

Not sure how I ended up on your page but I love it. I love your poetry. It is a beautiful thing can't wait to pass it on.

thanks for the laughs



Date: Mon. 10 July 2006

You probably do not remember me. I was the Classical/Flamenco guitarist at the Java Hut many years ago. You use to make me also piss myself. I hope you are doing well. I do not see any dates on your web site or your myspace site. Do you still perform out? I would really like to see you perform sometime. 


Date: Wed. 12 Apr. 2006
From Vince in England via Myspace

Hi ,

First of all I would just like to say that I'm a big fan of your work, I really enjoy listening to your poems, they're great! I heard a couple of your poems and ever since then I've been hooked, lol!

I have sent you this e-mail to therefore ask if it was possible for me to have your autograph, as I collect autographs of performers that I like, so if you could send me one, I would be very grateful, thanks.

Anyway, I just thought I would ask, and also say how much I enjoy your work, I look forward to hearing back from you, but until then take care, keep up the good work, bye for now,


Date: Sat. 14 Jan. 2006    
From pornstar Kami Andrews regarding poem I wrote on her

omg I love it! you really took the time to make it about me! Thank you!!


Date: Sun. 8 Jan. 2006
From The Radio Chick, Leslie Gold, in response to my poem on her

I am honored.

This will likely be read the next time I read listener email on the air. My sincere thanks for the kind words.



Date: Thu. 1 Dec. 2005
From Elly K of EllyK.Net

Hi there,
I was featured on MTV and saw that you had written a funny poem about me, and wanted to say that I am flattered. Thanks, it was a riot!! ;)


Elly K


Date: Wed. 5 Oct. 2005
From Samuel H. in Missouri

hey ran accross your site and i just wanted to tell yo i like the poms you wrote there good. i like how your not afraid to offend people in your works.


Date: Sun. 20 Feb 2005
From Jerzi Lynn of (in response to my poem on her)

Wow that is sooo you have a link to your website so I can add it to my site...thanks sooo much it's sooo cute...

Jerzi Lynn :)~


Date: Mon. 2 Aug 2004
From Meriah Nelson at (in response to my poem on her)




Date: Mon. 26 July 2004
From dianamfj AT yahoo

Hi Alexander!
i foud out that u r from Ukrane nice we r sosedi:)
I read some poems of your they r easy to understand n have a meaning hoh u write about everything... nice :)

all respect from Diana


Date: Mon. 26 July 2004
From Sam, webmaster of 

I been browsing you site for ages at work, and everyone here loves it!

Sam :)


Date: Fri. 4 June 2004
From Christine Goodman at After I performed at art House in Jersey City,NJ. Email edited somewhat.


Great to see you and hear your work again! It's amazing to see how in less 
than 5 minutes, you are able to totally change the mood in a room. Wow. That 
was fun.

Yeah, I remembered your work from Alliteration Alley - you had the whales 
humping CD and a maxi pad!

Anyway, thanks for coming out. I hope to see you soon!



Date: Sat. 29 May 2004
From Milfordilf, fan from Belmar,NJ

Dear alexander the poet,
I saw you in Belmar NJ two years ago and you changed my life....  well, not really... but I thought you were pretty damn funny.  You recited such works as "my balls", "when she played with my cock", and "shit".  If you're ever around here I'm gonna go try to see you.  (I'll bring a girl on a date to listen to your words of seduction)....  Anyway, good luck with that book publishing thing and whatever other important stuff is going on.


Date: Sat. 15 May 2004
From Ned The PG 13 Rated Poet

Hey Alexander,
I saw your website on the BlowRods message board.
You might remember me, I used to see you perform at Zabbazoo in Bound Brook.
I'm the big bald guy, would do some poems too. I always liked your stuff.

Ned The PG13 Rated Poet


Date: Mon. 23 Feb. 2004
From Avy Scott (pornstar) in response to a poem I wrote on her

Thank you so much Alexander...I must say, that this is the first poem
someone has ever written me. It means a lot...not in a porno kinda way

Love you,


Date: Tues., 17 Feb. 2004
From George In England

i read your poetry to my girlfriend and she became damp.
there was a cool man called al
he liked to hang with his pals
he wrote dirty songs
and loved girls thongs
and i am finished now
ur the man al, ur poems made my girlfriend give me wood, u rock dude.


Date: Sun, 28 Dec.2003
Email from Melfarr12



Date: Sun, 21 Dec. 2003


Hey man, what's up? I plugged the search "in love with a stripper" into the Yahoo! search engine and result # 22 was a link to your 
Strippers will break your heart poem. 

I feel for the guy in the poem. I almost knew what was going to 
come next as I read it. I myself am gaga over a stripper and have been for 10 
months. There have been many highs and lows in that period. Recently it has 
been lows, thus my search on the internet for some solace. Just wanted to say 
thanks for putting that poem out there for others to read. 



Date: Sat, 20 Dec. 2003
Found this comment at  It was a reply to my pic I posted and talked about my act.

Dude, you are SOOOOO FUCKING COOOL!!! Dude, I'm being serious, you're my NEW IDOL. Goddamn, when God (well, that bitch doesn't exist), but if he did, when he made you he broke the mold! Me and the Kyle both think you're the shit. Just continue to post on this bitch. Later man.


P.S.- Oh yeah, you DO look like a child molester, but it's all good man. G'd up from the feet up.


This was a reply to my post on

Date: Thu, 27 Nov. 2003
Found these comments from . It  was from a fan by the name of  Brian that saw me at Coffee Blue in Belmar,NJ on 11.25.03

Coffee Blue was comedy night. So funny. Alexander the Poet was there, and he was really really funny. All in all, it was ranked right up there as one of the top 10 funniest experiences of my life.


Date: Wed, 26 Nov. 2003
Email from Patrick Cashin, booker of Coffee Blue comedy night in Belmar,NJ, thanking me for my performance the previous night

Again, DEAD ON!
Thanks so much for making last night a
success. It seems the best shows we do
are always the ones you're a part of.


Date: Fri, 21 Nov. 2003
Found this at a blog called  . I'm guessing it's from the site owner, Jeremy Parish. He posted:

I'll still have a little faith in the species as long as it continues to produce this sort of brilliance. Apparently Pamela once saw him live, where he recited "She Gave Me Wood." I'm deeply saddened that I was not able to share this experience with her, but to help soften the pain of my sorrow he's helpfully included MP3s. I recommend you listen to as many of them as possible.

UPDATED! In an email he sent to me after I thanked him for the plug. Your MP3s are brilliant. Seriously.


Date: Fri, 14 Nov. 2003
Found this via referer logs, at a poem of mine was posted with this comment (translated from German to English as best I could):

Alexander at large... More closely
On my wondrous journeys by the medium InterNet impact I - adding the fate - on a further work of art. Alexander the poet (on its Website of the same name ) is not a misjudged poet. No, on the contrary he is still more misjudged and still closer. Anyhow I am discovered in the mass of its Hundreds of poems, Haikus and kurzgeschichten? something, which one straight you, which may withhold every now and then also an Soul Calibur interesting Audience, in no case. A Ode to a Domina telephone Sex Operator with the artist name "Isabella Valentine".
* two blue shining entermesser ?stop * Behold...!


Date: Thu, 13 Nov. 2003
Email from Torquemada from Austrailia

Dear Alexander,

Hello sir, I trust that you are in good health and that fortune is kind to
you. Thank you for all your Poems & Haikus, which we have been
reading, they are excellent and very expressive.

The Hat and feather suit you, being the Renaissance-Man that you are, the
photographs do you Justice!


Date: Sat, 8 Nov. 2003
Email from David Rehak, author

Hey Alexander,

how are ya man, it's me David Rehak, author A Young Girl's Crimes. I've read your whole website, it's fuckin hilarious. Especially the audio "poems." I laughed so hard! You use the poetic device of "double meanings" very effectively in your poetry, and you read it in a way that adds to the comic effect. I like how you do that, giving it both an innocent and a sexual meaning as well. 


Date: Thu, 30 Oct. 2003
Email from a fan in Germany!

Subject: a big fan from germany

Hello ALexander.
Its just some weeks ago i saw your page the first time, but iam already a big fan
of your poems. I really like your humor. Not just me, al my friends (okay, i do`nt many friends)
like you to. We do not laugh at you, we respect your work.So a little fan comunity in Germany. And now i want to print some 
t-shirts with a picture from you at the front and a poem (i think i`ll take THE FART).
So can you send me a (funny) picture from you that has a good qualit?
Then i could realize this project and maybe somewhere on the t-shirt we can
wrote down your adress This would be free comercial for you.
Fantastic. Is´nt it? I hope you get to read this letter and send me some pics...

Martin Reiter

P.S.: You could write a poe about Kristal Steal or do`nt you like her?


Date: Thu, 23 Oct. 2003
I got a email response from Mandy Fisher!!! :)

Thanks! You made my day! I visited your website, and you crack me up! 

Take care!

-----Original Message-----
From: Alexander The Poet 
Sent: Wednesday, October 01, 2003 1:25 AM
To: Mandy Fisher
Subject: Fan Mail


Hi Mandy. I just wanted to write to say how f'n beautiful you are. I just saw some short film on Cinemax where you were billed under Rebecca Davis, and you had a few hot lesbo scenes with T.J. Hart.

Anyway, I know you'll think I'm just another perv,etc but I just figured I'd email you to say I find you very beautiful.


P.S. Forgive me for not writing you a poem. I shall write one soon I hope.


Date: Wed, 1 Oct. 2003
Email I got after doing a set in Coffee Blue in Belmar,NJ

hey... just wanted to say that your set was killing me tonight and thanks for 
letting me hold your cock... eh... puppet.... eh... rooster... eh... you know 
what the heck i mean.

good stuff.
- erin

the perfect combo of estrogen and a sense of humor


Date: Tues, 30 Sept. 2003
In response to a poem I sent them on Semenex

Alexander... you ROCK, dude!

We'll find a way of adding your "inspired" poem to our website and giving you full credit, of course. Assuming that's okay with you. Let us know!

Thanx again!


Brent Myers
MMOR Research, LLC


Date: Fri., 26 Sept 2003:

Greetings from The Ancient One

Hello Alexander

To the far reaches of cyberspace have i traversed and while on my journey i was blessed to happen upon your site. Thank you for sharing something so interesting . May joy and prosperity be yours always.

Websites are a letter to the world and i enjoyed reading yours. The desire to explore other realms has enabled me to enjoy the thoughts and works of special people like you. 

My name is Micheal Teal. I am many things to many people - Psychic , Spiritual Advisor , Poet and Earth Shaman. The tide has swept me out to your pages and for that I am truly grateful. May you have happiness all your days and serenity all your nights.

I wish you dreams of glory and realities of peace , prosperity and splendor.

Yours in Peace
Micheal Teal
The Ancient One 


Date: Thu, 4 Sept 2003
From Maurice From Holland

i heard about you from some friends!! i'm also from holland. do you remember 
that guy who emails you and came also from holland?? by the way: don't look 
at my english i'm not very good in you also have msn messenger??

greets another fan from holland


Date: Wed, 3 Sept 2003
From BigMarkStyle From Holland

We are from Holland of course!!! By the way, how much does one of your 
amazing t-shirts cost? And are they available in Holland? Alexander the poet 
for president!!! Greets, Matts, Björn and Mark.


Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003
From BigMarkStyle From Holland

Hello Alexander! What's up? I must say that I am a great admirer of your 
I think it's really fantastic that you write such funny erotic poems.
Me and some friends of mine are trying to make you really famous.
We tell everyone to visit your personal website.
Do you have MSN? If so, please be online soon. We would all like to speak to 

Greetz, Matts, Bjorn and Mark.


Date: Mon, 25 Aug. 2003
From David Nacin, math professor at Rutgers
I performed my poetry at his wedding

Thanks so much for coming down and performing at my wedding. I
always love hearing you read. And I love the ceremony involving your cock
as well.



Date: Tue, 5 Aug. 2003
From Steve Doss aka Dossman, fellow poet in the jizz bizz
A Poem

Brother Alexander,
A poetic tribute to my fellow aspiring poet

A damn good poet,Alexander,A Russian
Man with a lonely heart.Speak to the soul 
Of the adult film industry,which never had 
Any compassion from the start.Cold-blooded

Business ,full of B.S. and lies.Promises they 
Tell will amount to nothing but a jar of dead 
My man always remember to talke the flatterers
And asskissers in this porno biz with a grain
Of salt.Continue to write your damndest

Release the psychic energy
That lies within your creative fault

Take it easy,

Steve Doss


Date: Mon, 21 July 2003
From message board
Pedro Monteiro from Lisbon, Portugal posted this:

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of reading this genious's poetry, I strongly advise that you do!
Hours and hours of quality reading there!


Date: Fri, 11 July 2003
from Shinku Hisaki
Message Board post

Alexander The Poet
Ok, so I was reading FHM (funny shit, actually...) and there's this blurb in the front about some jackhole named "Alexander The Poet" and how y'all should check out his site.

All I have to say is WTF.

I suggest such gems as The Olsen Twins and of course My Manboobs


Date: Fri, 11 July 2003
From Docta P Funk in Oregon
AOL IM he sent

Hey man, I found your website cuz of your letter in FHM, and I gotta say, you're a poetic genius


Date: Thu, 10 July 2003
From Issy from NY
Email they sent

Hey man, nice poems keep up the good work dude.


[NOTE: Issy found my site while searching for Ellen Muth on the web. I wrote a poem on her]


Date: Wed, 9 July 2003
From Y. Lee Sardonicus , editor of
In an announcement on my new poetry column on the site

Reknown throughout the adult entertainment industry for his colorful and most certainly unique brand of poetry, Alexander The Poet is certainly a pioneer in his field.


Date: Tue, 17 June 2003
From 667 in NJ at 
Excerpts from write up he did on site

I've been to his site before and seen pics of the man and he came in to my work yesterday and I had the chance to talk to the master of romantic poetry, a man who should be Knighted, ladies and gentleman...


Date: Sun, 8 June 2003
From Blondie in Utah at 
Excerpts from email she sent

I got to tell ya Darlin', You are one strange duck! LOL, I must say..................... very unique! 
I still think you got it goin' on! I'm thinkin' you'd get plenty of ass, if you were looking for it. I think you're very bold putting all your opinions right out there for the whole world to jump your shit for! You go Baby!


Date: Thu, 5 June 2003
From Mofo, adult clothing designer at
From email he sent in response to email I had sent him praising him

I have read your poetic words here & there. You think of some cool shit, I 
like it.


Date: Wed, 28 May 2003
From Hank Rose, former porn journalist at
Excerpt from a post on

Folks like Alexander The Poet add some culture to the porn scene.


Date: Wed, 28 May 2003
From Mychal, 17 yr old fan in Oregon
In Aim Chat

Mychal T Howe:  I just wanted to say you're really funny and I speak for all the minors when I say we love your site... it's really funny to read while I'm drunk lol.


From Britni from in an email on Thu, 08 May 2003

Your stuff is fun


From msg board on Tue, 29 Apr 2003

Sadistic Midget from posted:

This has got to be the best piece of poetry ever (regarding "So Many Jews In Porn")
This man truely deserves to be a poet laureate


From : "Kate Rockland" <Sex Columnist For The Daily Targum, Rutgers University>
To :
Subject : Re: Your Column
Date : Mon, 21 Apr 2003 17:24:04 +0000

I thought your website was very funny and especially liked your poem "The Fart." Kudos,
Kate Rockland


from :

The Porno Poet

I got an email the other day from a guy who goes by the name of "Alexander The Poet". He told me that he writes and performs adult themed poetry, and has been kicked out of eleven open mic venues. So right away, I'm interested.

He also sent along a link to his "radio friendly" poems, which he himself has read and uploaded in mp3 format.

Needless to say, I'm smitten.

My first instinct was to hoard these and not tell a soul, so I could play them on the Mr. KABC show at the end of the month. But would it be fair to sit on the face of real talent like this? No. No, I think not.

So I'm posting the link. I know I'm taking a chance by doing this, because I'm sure Mark and Brian will see this and call him in and that will be the end of that. You'll probably even see this link on FARK later, and everyone in radio steals from them. But you know, if you love something, let it go.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Alexander the Poet.


Reign_In_Terror from Northern Ireland writes:

Man your material is awesome!!!

Your the funnyist stand up since carlin!!!

that page was shit but im workin on a new one it will be uploaded soon, ever think of recordin a few songs?

cheers for the email man!

you rock!

POET'S NOTE: You can find Reign_In_Terror's fansite to me on my fansite,

-Posted 03.10.03 6:02pm EST



Dear Alexander,

good day Sir, we hope that you are fine today. Please let me say that your Verse/Poem, 'Olsen Twins' rules majorly.

You obviously put a lot of thought and strong consideration into this. I just wish to thank you and say we enjoyed it very much.

We now have a Link on our Site to yours, on our Link page... Please write more Poems about Lebsians. Does the 'Olsen Twins' Poem have an obscure/hidden meaning ? tia !

your wretched, humble, pathetic servant,


-Posted 02.23.03 1:30pm EST


Torqumada from  writes:

Dear Alexander, greetings, you are very kind to personally answer this fan. We have since further acquainted ourselves with your Verse and feel additionally inspired, by the depth of your words. Humbly, we are not worthy, Sir..

Your esteemed talent is prodigious and we shall spread the word, wide and far in your search for Pussy and Lebsians. We have seen some in our vicinity and heartily recommend merging our efforts in that regard, should the situation arise.

your servant, /Torquemada

-Posted 02.08.03 12:35am EST


Torqumada from  writes:

Subject: dude, you rule

Dear Alexander, good day Sir, we hope that you are in good health today. Please permit me to thank you for the Sublime poetry on your Website. We enjoyed reading it very much and salute you.

You are a true Artist Sir, sincerely. Our admiration is such, that we would like to use you as our Mentor and Role model, thank you.

your humble servant, /Tor

-Posted 02.05.03 11:10pm EST